Failing Up With Jar Jar Binks

The narrative commences with Jar Jar Binks engaged in singing one of his characteristic tunes. His assistants exchange hushed remarks, questioning whether all members of the Gungan species possess similar ineptitude. The two aides decide that it is time for Jar Jar to do some actual Senatorial work and they inquire whether he has made a decision on how he will cast his vote regarding the proposed New Tax Bill. However, Jar Jar expresses his aversion to contemplating "Paxes."

Jar Jar then commands his aides to advise him on how to vote. One suggests that increased revenue would be essential for safeguarding trade routes against space pirates. Jar Jar resolves to vote in the affirmative, declaring "Soak Da Rich" as his guiding principle. Regrettably, the other aide then proceeds to present justifications for why he should, in fact, vote against the bill. The discussion of votes and "Mamendmenps" overwhelms Jar Jar, causing him a headache. Ultimately, he opts to vote "no," proclaiming "Lead my rips, NO MOO PAXES!"

Subsequently, Jar Jar convenes with fellow Senators to deliberate on initiating a war against rebels. Jar Jar expresses his support for war, stating that he has "been Great warrior, Eesa fact!" The Senators inform Jar Jar that a Rebel Emissary has arrived to negotiate a peaceful resolution. Jar Jar instantly hides behind a desk, exclaiming in terror that a "Cold-Blooded Mercenary is in da bilbing." It appears that, despite his prominent ears, Jar Jar frequently misunderstands words.

Upon the Emissary's entrance, Jar Jar's eyes widen in astonishment. While the Emissary engages in conversation with another senator, Jar Jar's desire overtakes him, and he licks the Emissary, proclaiming that the "Pretty mercenary tastee as gooda she lookee!" The Emissary departs from the negotiations in anger, feeling insulted by Jar Jar's behavior. As far as she is concerned, that incident is a declaration of war.

Later, Jar Jar participates in a debate with a political opponent during a campaign event. The rival finds it utterly preposterous that Jar Jar was ever elected and reminds the audience that Jar Jar was once even banished in disgrace. The rival also dismisses Jar Jar's war heroism as being solely attributed to two Jedi Knights who merely tolerated his presence for comedic purposes. Jar Jar retorts by asserting that "Comedy relief good for morale, meesa regular Bob Hope." The opposition to Jar Jar also brings up the recent incident that triggered the war. The rival then begins to describe Jar Jar as "blithering", and labels him a "dunderhead." It is at this point that Jar Jar protests: "Meesa not dunderhead! Meesa am childlike! That why all of Universe adore Jar Jar… while you sir, am no Jar Jar Binks!"

The opposition is compelled to acknowledge the truth of this statement as the crowd expresses its support. Consequently, Jar Jar is re-elected as a Senator representing Naboo. While celebrating with his senatorial colleagues, a mysterious individual suggests that Jar Jar should consider running for a higher political office, given his widespread popularity.

Jar Jar is immediately captivated by the concept, as the stranger assures him that he will have even more time for leisure and an unlimited supply of Naboo Bug Juice. Jar Jar excitedly begins jumping around, proclaiming "Jar Jar for preseedenty!" The stranger escorts Jar Jar into his private chambers, where a Hologram of Darth Sidious is waiting to speak with him.

Jar Jar declares that he "recognizes a Shake Down" when he encounters one. Jar Jar informs Sidious that if they are to collaborate, Sidious will be working under his direction! Jar Jar insists that both of them bow before "the future ruler of the entire universe!" They both kneel... "Yes Master," Sidious responds.