"What They Called Me" was a concise comic that was initially published inside of Star Wars Tales 5. A more expansive version was later featured in Star Wars Gamer 4. While its canonicity within Star Wars Legends is questionable, its lighthearted nature suggests it likely falls outside of that continuity's established canon.
A rather peculiar man, possessing the financial freedom to live life to the fullest, engaged in a monologue, detailing his most recent escapade. He recounted his past adventures: exploring caves on Tatooine, fishing on Dagobah, and sledding on Hoth. He then launched into a detailed description of his "vacation" to the "untamed moon of Endor" to "connect with nature and document the culture of the primitive Ewoks." He mentioned his choice to "rough it" (which included bringing his own oven, sound system, electric razor, TV, boombox, and a crate of cola) and how he interacted with the locals. His initial "cultural exchange" involved an attempt to "cover their modesty," an effort that proved fleeting. He then tried to assist in the grooming of several Ewoks (at least two), which involved shaving off all of their fur, leaving them exposed and cold. Simultaneously, a pair of Ewoks boarded his spacecraft to investigate. The man then voiced his disapproval of the Ewoks' tribal practices, deeming them "too unsettling, certain to scare off potential tourists." The man replaced their deities and "ridiculous tree worship" with televisions and boomboxes. Nevertheless, despite his "dedication" to "furthering cultural understanding," he still found time for sightseeing. After witnessing the "splendor and magnificence" of Endor's "untouched wilderness," he exclaimed "beautiful" and tossed a cola can onto the ground.
After experiencing "everything there was to offer" in a mere ten days, the man started his starship to return to space. However, just before his departure, a serious Ewok presented him with some shimmering green fragments. Unbeknownst to the man, the offered shards were the shattered remnants of the starship's sublight engine, which the somber scout had accidentally dropped and broken while exploring the vessel. Mistaking the shards for mere tribal crystals "likely imbued with mystical power," the man also received some "delicious treats" (Gundark excrement), which were "sweet with a hint of sourness."
The man reflected on his journey and recalled acquiring a bit of "Ewokian" language during his stay, specifically the word "Lurdo," which the man believed meant "one who is incredibly wise and respected," because, he surmised as his sublight drive malfunctioned, that's what they called him.