Whills (short story)

The story begins with an unidentified Whill initiating the tale with the well-known phrase "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." Subsequently, a second Whill voices disapproval of the phrase "far away." The initial Whill then emphasizes their authority, noting their selection by the other Whills to author the Journal. Following this, the second Whill challenges the ambiguity of the timeframe and the passive nature of the statement "It is a period of civil war." The first Whill, growing impatient, expresses frustration at the prospect of constant criticism and dismisses the idea of specifying the exact time of day as absurd.

As the first Whill chronicles the rebel starships' achievement of their first victory against the "evil" Galactic Empire, the second Whill questions the omission of the preceding Galactic Republic and the Clone Wars. Upon the second Whill's suggestion to incorporate Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala, the first Whill suggests the possibility of including subtle allusions to them. The second Whill then proposes the inclusion of Darth Maul, Captain Rex, Ahsoka Tano, Asajj Ventress, Cad Bane, Savage Opress, Jar Jar Binks, and the Mandalorians. The first Whill argues that he retains the option to narrate their stories at a later juncture. His companion objects to the chronological inconsistency, but the first Whill retorts that the audience will discern the sequence of events.

When the second Whill advocates for numbering the episodes using numerals, the first Whill dismisses this as strange but commits to labeling the story as Episode IV. The first Whill then briefly describes the rebel spies' acquisition of the Death Star plans during the Battle of Scarif. Responding to the second Whill's protest against excluding Jyn Erso, Orson Callan Krennic, and K-2SO, the first Whill states his intention to begin with R2-D2 and C-3PO. The pair then engage in a debate about the superior droid, with the first Whill defending C-3PO's crucial role in establishing contact with the Ewoks of Endor.

The second Whill belittles the Ewoks, likening them to teddy bears. In response, the first Whill emphasizes the Ewoks' status as formidable warriors and apex predators on a wild planet. The second Whill points out that Endor is a moon. The first Whill instructs him to reserve his comments, as they will not be featured in this episode. As the first Whill recounts Princess Leia Organa's return aboard her starship, the second Whill criticizes the description of Leia as a custodian. The first Whill expresses his annoyance with the constant fault-finding, prompting the second Whill to assert that he is offering constructive feedback.

Upon the second Whill's suggestion that he could improve the writing, the first Whill challenges him to create his own journal and cease interrupting. Subsequently, the second Whill resolves to create an episode centered around Chewbacca's family's celebration of Life Day. Left undisturbed, the first Whill then proceeds to complete the opening crawl for Episode IV.